Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
