don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
