Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
