what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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