i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
