He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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