I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
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There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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