considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
