I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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