I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
