end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
