the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
