I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?