Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm too high and old for this...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
