you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
