I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
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But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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