No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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