She's JV to your varsity
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
