he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
