Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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