WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
