i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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