how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize