garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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