Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize