Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
