Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
