I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
