you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
