Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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