So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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