I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
