Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize