Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize