dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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