how do flat chested girls get laid?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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