I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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