I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
