Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Randomize
