Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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