omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize