Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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