shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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