You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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