I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
