Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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