i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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