Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
