ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
