Me too!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
