I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
