he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it's like iHOP with fire
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
