Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
