we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
