somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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