exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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