I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
