I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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