it wasn't lemon gatorade
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just invented taco cereal.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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