Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize