apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
