jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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